The Will Said What?!

Never, never, never appoint two executors to your Will because if they don't agree, your money will be tied up until the person you left everything to dies!  This is what happened to my mother-in-law when my father-in-law died.  

They had their Will prepared when they were in their early 70's so it would be easy for everyone when the time came.  They had a lawyer from the neighborhood, a very nice man who attended their church, make the Wills for them.  According to him, they wouldn't have to worry, he set it up so if he went first she would get all his money and if she went first he would get all her money with no hassles.  

It should have been a simple and easy Will, they had only every been married to each other and they had four wonderful children, the family was very close.  

Until Dad died.

Turns out they had appointed the two eldest sons co-executors so all decisions and payouts had to be approved by both.  

Well, that's fine.  The younger of the two lived nearby and had been taking care of Mom and Dad for the past 10 years.  He had always made sure they had everything they needed and that they were happy and well cared for at all times.

What she didn't know was that the oldest son had another side, one that she never suspected.  You see, years earlier he had married a very money hungry, selfish and self serving woman who was very crafty and manipulative.   The oldest son and his wife liked nice things and loved to travel, although they never invited mom or dad to come along.  Or came to visit for that matter, but always found the time to boast to them about the many trips they enjoyed.

When they came for the funeral they offered to help clean Dad's things out of the house, but once we got there the wife made sure to tell us what valuables she expected when Mom died.  We were appalled, we were still hurting from losing Dad and shocked by the heartlessness of her request.  Doesn't this woman feel anything for anyone?  She also made sure to take anything of value that belonged to Dad that Mom didn't specifically ask to keep.

The funeral was sad but lovely and although Dad was 86 we missed him terribly, especially his beautiful smile that would light up the room and his sweet demeanor would melt your heart.  He was a man that to know him was to love him because anyone who met him fell instantly in love with him.

It came time to straighten out the finances with the Will, etc.

It looked straightforward at first but there were some parts I didn't understand about a "family trust" that needed to be created, etc.  So we consulted a lawyer and he said it was the single worst Will he had ever seen.  It required that since the "family trust" has not been opened prior to death that the estate had to go into Probate.

Okay, so we let the lawyer take care of that, it took about a year.  All this time Mom living on only the money that was in her name as she was denied access to any monies that were in her deceased husband's name until after Probate.  

Probate's over and the two oldest sons need to sign the papers to allow Mom to receive Dad's money, so her son who's taken care of her all along signs and sends the papers to the oldest son and we wait.  

Well, the oldest son has decided that Dad wouldn't have wanted Mom to have the money or he wouldn't have set up his Will in this way, so he will not sign the papers.  WHAT?!?  Dad adored Mom and only wanted the best for her!  How could the oldest son say such a thing when he hadn't had a conversation with his father in almost 10 years?

Mom asks for the allowable living expenses she is allowed out of the money and again he denies her, telling her that he will not allow her to spend all of Dad's money.  

Hmmm?   So let's think about this a little bit.  Mom is in her late 80's and lives in a lovely CCRC that her oldest son thinks is too nice (meaning expensive) for her and due to great genes will probably live to at least 100.  I guess that means any money the oldest son thought he was inheriting would be depleted unless he keeps it tied up so she can't use what is rightfully hers.  

And nobody can do anything about it!

We take care of all of Mom's needs but I can only imagine the heartache that comes from knowing your firstborn son doesn't care enough about you to do the right thing and purposely hurts you just so he can have your money! 

Mom now says "Money is the root of all evil" she blames the lure of the money....not her oldest son and his wife.  

The sad thing is that she forgives them even though they've pretty much forgotten her.  She would welcome them with open arms if only they would visit.   

Please, when you make a will, make sure to only appoint one (1) executor to make sure the money goes where you want it to when you are gone.

I am not a lawyer, but my suggestion is that if you are married, make the executor your spouse and then appoint someone else for when you are both gone.  Choose a lawyer who specializes in estate planning and wills.  http://www.findlaw.com/