Would Bed Rails Help?

If your parent needs a little help getting in and out of bed or is a little unsteady on their feet it may be time to consider getting some Bed Rails.  

Bed Rails really help a great deal if your parent has trouble sitting up in bed and also prevent them from falling out of bed during the night.  Sometimes a parent who has trouble walking will attempt to get out of bed during the night and end up falling, having bed rails will keep them in bed until someone can get to them to help.

Dad used to get up in the middle of the night, forgetting he couldn't walk on his own, thinking he needed to use the bathroom even though he was in a diaper and had a Texas catheter on, he'd just pull the catheter off and end up in a mess on the floor.  That's when we realized we needed to install full length bed rails to keep him in bed and prevent him from falling and breaking a hip. 

When you choose a bed rail you'll want to make sure you get one appropriate for your parent, if your parent is very small you'll want to make sure that the bottom rail sits very close to the mattress so they don't slide under it and get stuck.  Ease of lowering the rail is very important as well.

If your parent just needs a little help and can get in and out of bed themselves they may just need an assist handle type bedrail.  These bedrails only provide a single stable area that your parent can slide past as they exit the bed, these bedrails remain in the upright position at all times and do not need to be lowered. 

If your parent is unsteady and needs assistance walking you would want to consider a full length bedrail that a caregiver would need to be present to lower, thus keeping your parent in the bed until their aide lowers the rail.  This is a good option if you don't want your parent getting out of bed unassisted. 

The good thing about bed rails that can be lowered is that they can be put completely out of the way, so installing it before your parent really needs it isn't a problem or a huge inconvenience to them.  

As we care for our aging parents we need to always think ahead for the next thing we can do to make their everyday lives easier.  Ask them about their challenges and find ways to keep them independent for as long as possible.  

Is It Time To Install Handrails In The Bathroom?

Has your parent become a little wobbly on their feet?  Do they have a little trouble getting around on their own without the help of a cane or walker?  Then it's probably time to consider installing some handrails in their bathrooms for safety.  

Handrails for the bathroom are essential to prevent falls.  Balance is an issue for many aging parents for a variety of reasons so installing handrails in the bathroom should be done before anyone falls.  Remember, it's wet and slippery in the bathroom and it's easy to fall even if you don't have balance issues. 

Take a look at the bathroom set up and see where handrails would be helpful, I like to put handrails around the toilet also, to help with getting up.  Handrails help to keep your parent independent for as long as possible, giving them the ability to use the bathroom on their own without assistance is important.      

You'll want to use sturdy handrails, I like the strong stainless steel grab bars, that can hold all your weight because that's what it will be receiving once your parent starts to use it and you don't want the handrail that you installed for safety to come loose.  Be sure that whoever installs your bars knows that it will be used to support the entire weight of your parent and you don't want it ripping out of the wall.  You'll want to be sure that the handrail is anchored to the studs so it's solid.   Your parent needs to be able to trust that the handrail will be there when they need it and that it won't fail and cause them to fall.

A physical therapist or occupational therapist can assist you in deciding where to place each handrail.

A bathroom redesign is sometimes necessary if a parent becomes disabled and wants to remain in the home.  Getting in and out of a bathtub is very dangerous when you're wet and slippery so I prefer to get rid of the bathtub and put in a large enough shower for two people, you see if your parent needs help bathing then you need enough room in the shower stall for a shower chair and an aide.  You may have the space and prefer a built-in bench seat in the shower, that's fine as long as you make sure a shower chair will still fit into the shower stall and allow enough room for an aide to get around.  This way if your parent can no longer transfer to the built-in bench they can still be wheeled into the shower in a shower chair for bathing. 

Install a shower head that can be used as a personal shower, this way an aide can easily wash your parent safely without getting wet themselves.  Another thing to take a look at in the shower is access.  Can you get a wheelchair into the shower?  If the room is large enough you can have the shower stall built with a slight ramp that allows a wheelchair to be rolled in and still keeps the water from flowing out onto the floor.  I recently saw a great product used for just that reason, it's called a "collapsible dam" and what it does is it keeps the water from flowing out of the shower but will collapse to allow a wheelchair to roll over it. 

A Flip Up grab bar should be installed next to the toilet to aid in standing and if possible change the toilet to a higher toilet, you won't believe how much easier it is for a parent with balance and arm strength issues to get up from a higher bowl.  

I believe that we need to do everything we can to keep our aging parents independent for as long as possible and safe, so installing safety handrails in the bathroom should be done at the first signs of balance issues.  

How To Find The Right Retirement Community

Maybe you've decided it's time to move into a Retirement Community and have just started looking around but are confused by how many different types of communities there are to choose from, well, I can totally understand that feeling  because I felt the same way when we needed to find a solution for my in laws.  At that time I had no idea that there were so many choices, so I've broken them down into types of community to give you a little explanation about each to help you along the way.  

Dementia/Alzheimer's Care

If your parent has memory problems, is often disoriented or has Alzheimer's then your options for housing are greatly reduced.  Most of the better housing options won't accept a parent who has dementia before moving into the community.  You'll be looking into a skilled nursing situation that offers care for Alzheimer's and Dementia patients.  These places are better equipped to deal with a parent who gets lost and confused easily and you won't need to worry about them running off and not being able to find their way home.              

Nursing Home

Nursing Homes offer skilled nursing care 24 hours a day.  I'm not a big fan of placing someone into a nursing home unless there is no other option or if your parent needs 24-hour nursing care.  A Nursing Home is basically like living in a hospital, you have a room with a hospital bed and very little space for personal items.  Most times you will need to use a communal bathroom and it may be down the hall.  I feel that there are so many better options out there that a nursing home should be an absolute last resort choice.  If a parent needs constant nursing care and isn't eligible for Hospice it seems that a nursing home may be your only option, unless, you could place them into the healthcare unit in a Continuing Care Retirement Community.  In all states there are rating systems for healthcare centers and nursing homes are rated along with them, as well as the healthcare facilities located within Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  You'll want to only consider the nursing homes that get the highest ratings and even then make sure you visit the facility to check it out thoroughly.

When looking into Nursing Homes don't confuse them with Rehab Centers, Rehab Centers are for short-term care and are fantastic to bridge the gap between Hospital and Home for someone who needs 24-hour nursing care after surgery or acute illness.  Check out the Official U.S. Government Site for Medicare at Medicare.gov.  You can find and compare Nursing Homes there.

Retirement Homes

I'm not sure if the traditional Retirement Homes we all remember are still around but I know there are homes similar to the old Retirement Homes that are run privately by individuals in their own homes.  I would stay away from these.  They are often just people renting out rooms in their home to make a profit and leave your aging parent to fend for themselves with little or no services.    

    

Assisted Living

An Assisted Living Facility is a place where you live if you need help with little things for only part of the day.  This can be achieved by hiring an aide anywhere you live, but I guess some people don't want to deal with the hiring so they opt to move to a facility where the staff is already in place.  In Assisted Living you will have your own room and bathroom but no cooking facilities.  

These communities are similar to the old retirement homes we remember and have similar living arrangements and activities.  In assisted living you live in one large house with many bedrooms similar to a Bed and Breakfast Inn you may have visited.  There is a central dining room and activity room and daily activities you can enjoy.  All your housekeeping is taken care of by the staff and all meals are provided each day.  I think that Assisted Living is what the Retirement Homes of the past have become.   

55+ Community

A 55+ community is just like any other community except there is an age requirement to live there, they really don't offer much in the way of activities or socializing.  I really don't see any benefit to living in a 55+ community unless you really just don't want anyone younger living near you.  Most 55+ communities have a clubhouse where parties and activities are held.  These communities are usually very large and often are a town unto themselves, here in Florida we have one such community that is called "The Villages" and it has its own zip code.  It's a town with everything any other town has except schools because everyone living there is over 55.  It's independent living in a town with only people your own age or older.  They have town squares and live entertainment with huge parties, festivals and parades, movie theaters, shopping centers, churches and a medical center.  Some even have learning centers for personal enrichment.  A 55+ community is a great choice for when you are young enough to be able to do anything you want, but once you start having mobility or health issues it begins to be very difficult to live in the community and you'll need to move somewhere more accessible.  In my opinion, the 55+ communities are great until you're in your late 70's and then, unless you're genetically blessed, things begin to become too difficult and you're forced to move to another community.  So I would call these communities the 55 - 75 community.        

Active Adult Retirement Community

An Active Adult Community is very similar to a Continuing Care Retirement Community only it doesn't have a Healthcare Center.  They do offer independent living and assisted living but if you need round the clock nursing care you would need to move to a nursing home or a skilled nursing facility.  This is a good alternative to look at if you don't have the "buy-in" money that most CCRC's require.  In an Active Adult Community you can lease your apartment as you would any other apartment, you sign a 3 month lease and after 3 months you have no obligation to stay if you don't like the community.  Your monthly fee entitles you to daily meal plans, activity programs that include outings and educational seminars, telephone and internet, TV programming, weekly housekeeping and all community activities.  And just like a CCRC your independent living apartment would have a full size kitchen and private bathroom, most apartments have a washer and dryer, walk-in closet, individually controlled heat and air conditioning and an emergency response system including smoke detectors and fire alarm.

Amenities on site usually include a movie theater, card room, bar, library, swimming pool and fitness center.  Access to these communities is restricted by a manned security guardhouse and security in the community is provided by the guards.     

Continuing Care Retirement Community

A CCRC or Continuing Care Retirement Community is without question my favorite type of community.  Included in your monthly fee is weekly housekeeping that includes washing your bed and remaking it, emergency call monitoring, unlimited access to on-site health care services, home maintenance, one meal at the restaurant per day and entitles you to participate in all community activities and use all the community facilities.  It combines a variety of living arrangements so as you age you can continue to live in your community among friends.  A CCRC is set up with Independent, Assisted and 24-hour nursing care all in one community.

So you can live in an independent apartment and do everything for yourself or have assistance from an aide.  If you become ill or need to recover from surgery you can remain in your community and spend some time in the Healthcare Center on property until you're well enough to go back to your apartment.  This way your friends are still able to visit and support you each day so you don't feel all alone.  These communities have an atmosphere like a college campus or a cruise ship, there is always someone to talk to and there are always activities going on in the Clubhouse.  In a CCRC you have your own apartment with a full kitchen, private bathroom, up to 3 bedrooms in most communities, washer and dryer, walk-in closet, individually controlled heat and air conditioning and an emergency response system including smoke detectors and fire alarm.  Most CCRC's also have villas or patio homes that offer larger accommodations and the feeling of living in your own home instead of apartment living.  These are usually scattered around the community and require a little more walking to get to the clubhouse, restaurant and activities.

 

In a CCRC you can live among your friends for the rest of your life, no matter how much care you require.  In my opinion, these communities offer the most for your money.  You can participate as much or as little as you like and there are so many activities that you won't be able to do all of them.  Most CCRC's also offer bus service to local doctors and shops and offer group bus trips to the theater or other events.  There are also group vacations offered for those who like to travel.

When it comes to amenities you couldn't ask for more than you receive at a CCRC, like I mentioned before it feels like living on a cruise ship there is so much to do every day.  For instance, on Monday you could go to Chorus, Poker and Play an organized game in the game room.   On Tuesday you can go to a lecture, play Canasta and then Bridge.  On Wednesday you could participate in a Bible Study then take the community bus to the mall come back in time for the Ladies Luncheon and later play an organized game in the game room.  On Thursday play Wii bowling, then Mahjong see a Musical in the auditorium then end the day with either Poker or Line Dancing.  Friday is Watercolor painting, the book club, poker and bridge.  Saturday starts with bocce ball then Gin Rummy and in the afternoon you can learn Ballroom Dancing then go see the Philharmonic.  Sunday the bus takes you to church in the morning then there's a Jazz Concert in the afternoon.   Now, this is just an example of a normal week but at least once a month there are community dinner dances and parties to enjoy.

On property amenities include restaurants, beauty salon, fitness center, health center, arts and crafts room, library, bar, card room, and auditorium.  Access to these communities is restricted by a manned security guardhouse and security in the community is provided by the guards.                    

I hope this helps you choose what type of community you want to look for and will give you a better idea of what choices will work best for you.  

Remember to visit each community and to be sure to eat in the restaurants, the quality of the food is a great indicator of the quality of the community.  You don't want to be eating frozen fish sticks for the next 20 years!